#21.5 - "JOSEPHINE"

[00:00:00] I'll tell you what I know about how Alaska died.

[00:00:03] What you're about to hear is an audio recreation of the events.

[00:00:07] Voice appearances from Josephine's to Lupi are only a performance portrayed by the Joe of today.

[00:00:15] I was nervous to go to a party hosted by Alaska.

[00:00:18] What am I gonna do?

[00:00:20] I was staring into my purse, thinking about what drinks to bring,

[00:00:23] when Meowly Cyrus knocked the peach schnapps out of the cabinet.

[00:00:27] I'm gonna have dreams of tearing your eyeballs out, and I'm gonna love it!

[00:00:31] That's just banter.

[00:00:32] Anyway, I love to play with fire, so of course I was gonna go to Alaska's party.

[00:00:37] The truth is, Alaska was stalking me for months.

[00:00:41] People couldn't find out about the mob.

[00:00:43] But, like, Alaska and I barely even talked.

[00:00:46] He wasn't blackmailing me.

[00:00:48] So I had to confront the bastard who had my secret to know what he wanted.

[00:00:53] What if I had to hurt him?

[00:00:55] So I packed my revolver into an empty keyboard case that I could hide under my seat.

[00:00:59] I drove the murder trap to Stomptown that night.

[00:01:03] The cicadas were so loud, it hurt my ears!

[00:01:07] Nobody was patrolling, so I unlocked the gate.

[00:01:11] We got everybody inside, I locked the gate behind us, and then we parked in the parking lot.

[00:01:18] We got to the jailhouse.

[00:01:20] We put our stuff down, and I brought the fireball out of my purse and the cops.

[00:01:26] And I still had my backup bottle in my purse.

[00:01:28] Emma and Boo didn't drink.

[00:01:30] I think Bobby didn't...

[00:01:33] Actually, I'm not sure.

[00:01:36] Alaska was really quiet.

[00:01:39] He asked me how I was doing.

[00:01:42] I tried talking to him.

[00:01:43] Alaska, have you been following any interesting girls lately?

[00:01:47] You know, on socials?

[00:01:48] Following anybody interesting?

[00:01:50] But his feelings were gray when I saw him.

[00:01:53] He was just depressed.

[00:01:55] So I did a little bit of an awkward dance.

[00:01:58] Kind of like this.

[00:01:59] Awkward dance over to Glory to talk about anything else.

[00:02:03] Almost like it was a real party.

[00:02:04] Like Alaska wasn't sitting right there, carrying around all my secrets.

[00:02:10] I had a baby photo go missing.

[00:02:12] And what if...

[00:02:13] Ugh!

[00:02:13] Oh, and then Alaska opened a present from Bobby.

[00:02:18] Wow!

[00:02:19] That was a comb.

[00:02:21] I thought it was a comb.

[00:02:23] Turns out it was a knife that looks like a comb.

[00:02:26] Weirdos.

[00:02:26] I don't know.

[00:02:27] Then...

[00:02:28] All of a sudden...

[00:02:29] This crash went through a flashbang in the room.

[00:02:37] Crazy?

[00:02:38] My eyeballs went numb.

[00:02:40] And you know...

[00:02:41] Losing my senses made me realize...

[00:02:44] I had to stake my fucking claim.

[00:02:50] So I ran south into the darkness.

[00:02:52] I took a 35 degree turn.

[00:02:54] I was running for Alaska.

[00:02:56] You could've...

[00:02:57] I checked.

[00:02:57] I was shoving the tall grass out of my face.

[00:02:59] Like literally ripping it out of the ground.

[00:03:02] And imagining it was every hair on Alaska's head.

[00:03:05] I kept turning back like I was gonna see him.

[00:03:07] Until I did.

[00:03:08] But...

[00:03:09] Alaska was behind.

[00:03:10] I knew it.

[00:03:11] I knew it.

[00:03:12] Every time he stalked me, he was always in the darkness.

[00:03:15] Like in the city at night.

[00:03:16] Every time I was in a crowd.

[00:03:17] And it was dark again, but I saw Alaska's hoodie.

[00:03:20] That was his jacket.

[00:03:22] It was always that jacket.

[00:03:23] And I ran for my car.

[00:03:25] So I could reach for my gun.

[00:03:27] And I never killed anybody.

[00:03:28] But I had to chase.

[00:03:30] I ran back into the woods looking for him.

[00:03:32] Trying to find him.

[00:03:33] I was running with my gun out.

[00:03:34] You cannot do this to me!

[00:03:37] Hello!

[00:03:39] So I yelled in the forest.

[00:03:40] And I followed that sound.

[00:03:43] Alaska was there.

[00:03:44] With Bobby.

[00:03:46] Bobby looked at my gun.

[00:03:47] Then he tucked something into his shirt collar and he just disappeared.

[00:03:52] Like he stopped existing.

[00:03:54] Like something happened.

[00:03:55] I don't know.

[00:03:56] But it was just me and Alaska.

[00:03:59] And then I raised my Ruka.

[00:04:01] So he ran.

[00:04:02] I chased him.

[00:04:03] But he was fast.

[00:04:05] He was in track and field.

[00:04:06] That bastard's same as all his little friends.

[00:04:07] So I could have fought him.

[00:04:08] I could have.

[00:04:09] But I couldn't chase him.

[00:04:11] And I couldn't get a good shot.

[00:04:12] I mean, I unloaded the whole cartridge.

[00:04:14] I almost, I thought I got him, but clearly I didn't.

[00:04:16] He ran into the bushes.

[00:04:18] So I grabbed my backup bottle of fireball.

[00:04:21] And I threw it on the fire.

[00:04:22] Fuck you Alaska!

[00:04:23] I'm gonna fucking get you!

[00:04:26] I wanted to light the whole forest on fire.

[00:04:31] And I did.

[00:04:34] I kept setting fires in the direction I saw him going.

[00:04:37] And the direction I saw him going was the jailhouse.

[00:04:41] By the time I was catching up, the rain set in.

[00:04:45] And I, I was angrier than I had ever been in my entire life.

[00:04:52] I would have killed him.

[00:04:54] I could have.

[00:04:56] But instead I threw my gun in the river.

[00:04:59] When I got to the jailhouse, a pair of shoes was outside the building.

[00:05:03] It was a pair of sneakers with a shoelace missing.

[00:05:06] Emma had had too much to drink and she was throwing up outside the jailhouse.

[00:05:10] Oh buddy.

[00:05:12] Wanna go inside?

[00:05:13] So we stepped inside.

[00:05:16] And there we saw Alaska.

[00:05:20] He was lying back.

[00:05:23] He had no shoes on.

[00:05:25] And there was a knife on the ground.

[00:05:28] And a shoelace.

[00:05:31] We called 911 and Emma did compressions.

[00:05:34] I didn't see Glory that whole time.

[00:05:36] I didn't see Logan.

[00:05:37] And I didn't see Boo.

[00:05:39] After that, the higher ups thought I killed him.

[00:05:42] I got my bones.

[00:05:43] They promoted me.

[00:05:44] I wasn't an associate anymore.

[00:05:45] I was a made woman.

[00:05:47] I was first of my kind.

[00:05:49] But in my world, I've always been first.

[00:05:53] I've always been only.

[00:05:56] And I will harness it now.

[00:05:58] Selfishness without the self.

[00:06:01] For me.

[00:06:03] For Boo.

[00:06:04] For the edge of the world that needs to burn.

[00:06:38] I'm sorry.

[00:06:52] I'm sorry.

[00:06:54] I'm sorry.

[00:06:55] I'm sorry.

[00:06:56] I'm sorry.

[00:07:09] I'm sorry.

[00:07:10] I'm sorry.

[00:07:29] Go for you.

[00:07:32] See you next week for the Halloween special.

[00:07:34] show.